Wednesday, August 29, 2007

The Slow, Fat Kid

Recently my friend pkq asked me to include her in any training rides I was doing this week as she had time off from work moving in to her new place, and she wants to start exercising more again. This request bothered me for some reason - I wasn't comfortable with it and it has taken me a few days to figure out why.

I'm the slow, fat kid.

The story is familiar to many. Fat kid, non-athletic, last picked for teams, teased mercilessly. As a result I hate putting myself into direct competition with another person. I will go out for casual rides on the weekend with anyone, but as soon as peoples' competitive nature comes out I get sick. I've pretty much stopped going on Hypoxia group rides for this very reason. I'm still the fat kid on the bike - the slowest rider, the slowest climber and I will not put myself in a position to be ridiculed for it.

That brings me to this week. Yesterday's ride was a workout, not fun. Hill repeats. If I had someone else along on that ride,

  1. I would have gotten competitive myself and not stayed within heart rate or cadence zones, defeating the purpose of the training, and,
  2. I would be putting myself in a position to be ridiculed for lack of strength, speed, fitness, etc. I know pkq would never do that to me, but the situation felt too much like it used to.
I didn't call pkq. I suffered on the hill alone. Just like I've always been.

1 comment:

Cuz said...


Despite the fact that I LEAD the hill climb drills in lour club, I am easily the slowest rider on them. Which means I lay out the course, set the time, and wish everyone well. It is fodder for some very fun club ride report posts I get to write. The thing is, all of us get to enjoy the rides, and benefit from them. You should see that too and let the speed wagons like Pam run past you. You're neither slow, nor fat, but she has way better looking legs than you do :)